Why live life from dream to dream?

Anyone wo knows me at all will know my grudge against the public school system for not letting me into honors classes, regaurdless of me having 100 averages for the year in multiple classes and being done with my work before everyone else.

Also added to the judgement of "your not smart enough" is the ironic sting of my senior year. This year the guidance department tells me, "sure you can be in honors but you would have to give up Art 4."

ART IS WHAT I FUCKING LIVE FOR

So ofcourse that didn't go down. And hey, I'd rather have art anyway. But when I see people dumber than me get into these classes, it pisses me off. Just because they talk out more in class doesn't mean they're intelligent. That just makes me give up hope. Whenever it comes to me I seem to be at a natural disadvantage. Why care anymore? I'll be an artist anyway, who cares if they're smart.

Making it into those classes was very important to me though...

And to know that I didn't make it into the gifted program on the count of an ear infection that rendered my hearing useless (in a test where the questions were read aloud) makes me feel completely useless. I wasn't meant to be anything important, and I wasn't meant to be anything useful. I'm not even that good at art, my passion.

I don't even know anymore.